Anger and "Non Femininity" In Our Heroines: We Need To Talk About It

When was the last time you read a book where the main character was allowed to be angry, to be gross, to be everything considered "not feminine"? Of course not every female character is the same and yes some prefer to not be gross and angry, but the matter is, most aren't even allowed the choice, and yes, the writers, as one myself, we must give them the choice, aka, we must do that for them. If your first instinct always in creating female characters is to make them the stereotypes, then maybe you should rethink the way you're creating them.

(Yes, I am side eyeing the directors of Game of Thrones)

(Take a page from Brandon Sanderson's book and check out his lecture on this very thing on Youtube. But above all, stop only reading fantasies by people that so clearly hate and don't bother to understand women. )

But, the fact of the matter is, if you come across a book where a female character gets angry, gets gross, there are usually consequences, not for her actions, but simply for being angry. She might lose her love interest's respect, her best friend's too. She might get demoted from any leadership position she may have, and then she's forced to go "Maybe I shouldn't be angry!" And then presto! She's suddenly not angry anymore! She's never allowed to work through those emotions, make mistakes, relapse, or grow. Ya know, experience actual character development, that sort of thing.

One of my favorite cases of an incredibly written female character with anger issues, cockiness, and a bit of brutality and grossness who grows and learns to manage all of this better, is Aelin Ashryver Galathynius from the Throne of Glass series. Her traumas that caused her anger are never belittled, and the character that tries to say her anger is unwarranted, her brutality the same, he is never applauded for judging her, in fact, he himself is called out for it. Told to look in at himself.

In a way, this moment, and character growth, is also meant to be a call out for readers, because I know this fandom, and they have great trouble with worshiping the men for the same reasons they hate Aelin.

I have been looking for a book just as lush, with a character who is allowed that same freedom as Aelin, and an author that clearly loves her, for a while now. I finally found it last year, in the form of Bring Me Their Hearts by Sara Wolf.

I picked it up on a whim right after graduating college, it was the last book my mom bought me in fact that wasn't for a birthday or Christmas Present, and I took it home and devoured it immediately.

The world, the plot, the lore, the characters, and most of all Zera, our lovely heroine.

She's brutal, she's hilarious and cocky, she gets nasty, and yet she loves wearing frilly dresses and pretty jewelry and getting dolled up. And most of all, she wants her literal heart back so she can stop being a witch's puppet.

But she has to steal the heart of the Crown Prince first. Literally.

Things get messy, and they begin to fall in love despite it all. But she does not change! She does not soften for him in the way heroines normally do, and she most certainly does not curb her bite.

The ending blew me away, and I won't spoil anything for you, but I have been excited for the second book since I read the last word of the first.

Speaking of the second book, I received an arc of it a couple of weeks ago, and I lost my mind. I hadn't thought I would get it after requesting it back at the beginning of the year, but someone involved with it kindly sent it my way.

I tucked into it immediately and let me tell you, it somehow was a million times better than the first which was already perfect.

Zera isn't suddenly wiser than she was in the first because she managed to resist her command and survive. She and Lucien don't make up and pretend she didn't almost kill him, and then brutally kill someone else instead, revealing her true identity as a Heartless.

Another incredible female character is introduced in this and makes such a statement that I'd love to talk about her too, but, she's a different type I'd love to write a separate post about.

In Find Me Their Bones, Zera finds the character development she was clutching so hard at at the end of book one, and the story excels in giving all the rest their own. It's lush, it's intense, and above all, it made me cry I loved it so dearly.

I'm not even worried about what Wolf plans to do in the third book because I trust her that much! She's going to give Zera everything that she deserves, and this story will be even more phenomenal.

But, back to my original point, please, please authors, hold yourselves, and those around you accountable for this. Make your female characters as multi dimensional as your male, give them space to grow. Don't let your fans twist them up and spit them out like they're nothing. Most of all, don't fall victim to the idea that you must write what the publishing industry thinks will sell.

Let us women, cis or not, be human, and tell stories that show others that we are.

Let them rage, let them scream, let them cry, let them take revenge as their male counterparts are so freely allowed, let them get bloody. Let them use their fists. But do not deny them their right to also be typically feminine. We can be both.

Let them be as the directors of Game of Thrones would not let Daenerys Targaryen be. Let them have a temper, let them be soft, and let them be. Do not slaughter them for that which their male counterparts would be praised.

(Looking at you Jon Snow, who was also a Targaryen, who did just the same as Daenerys, but never once did they say he might go mad. Misogyny at it's finest right there folks.)

We can be angry, we can be loud, and brutal. Most of all, we can still be the opposite too- at the same time!

What a concept!